I don't think I can do this any more. I si'ed the outher night in a strang way I blacked out and one I came to I was in the shower spraying blood I manged to drive to the er before I passed out but that is not the point what are you supose to do one you though t you had sh beat onely to find out that you will do it even if you don't want to? One should never complety lose control of them self like that. If I am going to not be able to stop my self from sh and when I try I just black out and do it anyways what am I supose to do ? Would it not be better to do it in such a way that I have control over it? I am truly at a loss, I have not been to sleepsinch it happened (like 70 hours ago} I am afread to sleep. What if it happens again and I have to go to the er agaim and thay lock me up (I gush it is posable that I will not come to in time but that's not relly shumping I am woried about}? I relly need sleep but I am afread to sleep. I am not sure if I am posting this in the right form if I triggered anyone I am sorry please forgive me. If anyone has any ideas please let me hear them. Thank you in advince.