My Dad died a little over a year ago of cancer. He had me late in life so I'm still pretty young. I took care of him in my home. I didn't react when it happened. Now I believe I'm losing my mind. I've even begun to question my belief in heaven. What now? I'm having nightmares, I want to scream to somebody its not fair. Sometimes I talk myself into believing he's not really dead, that he'll be back, even though he died right in front of me. I'm also bipolar, on meds, but I don't think its enough. What now? All this is just the tip of the iceburg.