Personally, I think it takes a lot of self discipline - which is a skill that can be learned.

As indicated in this thread, I, too had emotions about emotions. I was scared of being sad, then scared of being scared, then mad about being scared etc... It's a feed forward mechansim that grows and grows.

In the middle of the feed forward mechanism is the idea that we will, somehow, become completely overwhelmed by what we are feeling. Inundated, obliterated. Things can feel that strong and trigger very very old memories of when we felt that way in the past - where we could become obliterated. In order to avoid this, we *had* to shut down.

However, we are not in the past anymore. With each emotion we feel - each blow, each disappointment etc.... and are NOT overwhelmed, we develop confidence to feel the next one. It's kind of like exposure therapy for emotion.

From this confidence we can then develop the ability to step outside of our emotions and look at them for what they are - emotions, feelings, proof that we can still engage with and be affected (in good and "bad" ways) by what has transpired around us.

The "step out" is the step that requires the most self discipline. I think that has to occur.

When we do this, we can then begin to learn what that emotion is telling us. What is it trying to teach us? For instance, grief can be an overwhelming thing. It sadness on steroids really. However, what function does grief serve? I think it is a reminder of the fullness of an experience, the joy we felt in it, the love we extended. We are human, we mourn our losses. Grief reminds us of that experience, it connects us to love.

So.. I think, when *we* think about openly and rationally about emotions, we remove their power to overwhelm us. We can move into them rather than hide from them.

Ultimately this leads to the ability to fully connect to our lives and the experience of them. It is true freedom from fear.

One of my mantras has become "oh yeah, this may suck, but I'm going to do it anyway". Most of the time I have realized it never sucks as badly as I thought.