I've been dealing with depression for a long time now, probably around 10-11 (25 now). I've never been to a doctor about it. Dad never believed in "brain docs", and could never afford one once I got older. Majority of the time I can deal, but every now and again., it comes and kicks my ***. Within the past few days, it's done just that. Me and my fiance (or ex, not quite sure) have been fighting like crazy. He kicked me out last night. Or thus morning, rather, at 3am, pouring rain. Few days ago, I took a chance and told him how I'm feeling. Biggest mistake ever. All we do is fight. Last night he took my ring and tossed it, then threatened to call the cops. Couple days ago my grandmother was admitted to the hospital. She's been having problems lately. Now they may be over. She was the only one in my family to get me. She'd know when i was upset, and would actually listen. But she lives in MO I live in FL, so I haven't seen her since I've been getting depressed. Work has been dangling a promotion (that they don't intend to give) over my head. Long story short, when it rains it pours. Not quite sure how to keep going. I'm the kind of person to expect the worse and hope for the best. I've run out of hope. Guess I just wanted someone to listen, even though they may not care. At least I don't see pity faces and no response. Thank you.