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I have a therapist who, with my permission, starting “pushing” against resistances I did not know were there, because the way things look with them in place has been all that my consciousness has been able to “see” for a long time. She was trying to get to me, I think, because I was not able to bring the feelings to her.
Now, instead of thinking I’m crap, I think the world is crap. Instead of being depressed, I’m angry. Not sure this is helping much!!!
Why would I WANT to be in a social world that looks down on me constantly. I don’t. The world ain’t going to change. Maybe I need to be “weird” and “different” and stop looking down on myself? I certainly can’t hang out with my relatives anymore, with such a dissonant point of view.
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