I've never been a hatefull person, but I hate my "family" for being nowhere in sight while Dad was dying. They didn't even bother to help pay for his cremation, they didn't go to the wake, nothing. Thank goodness for my inlaws. I know I need professional help, I can't seem to bring myself to go, cause I don't want to cry in front of anybody. I'm afraid it will unleash a tidal wave that I just don't know if I can handle.