My definition of triggering is when I am reacting to something that someone said that is not just about what happened in the moment, but when something negative from my past is blowing up the emotions or the thoughts inside my head. I am no longer grounded; I am not mindful; I am somewhere more or less lost in an emotional and reactionary swirl.

A good example might be (cue movie, Fried Green Tomatoes) where one of the main characters is cut off from a parking spot she's waiting for by a couple of rude young women. They tell her something like, when she protests that she was in line for that spot, that they are younger and quicker. She then bashes their car out of the parking spot with her own; she says, I'm older and I have more insurance. She's not just mad about what is a pretty ordinary slight in the moment, it's triggering her issues about being ignored as an aging woman and disrespected by probably the people in her life as well as society.

Maybe triggering is the same thing as an overreaction-- to which my T always reminds me has a kernel of the reaction that is based on truth. To overreact doesn't mean that there was nothing hurtful/disrespectful/etc there, but that one's reaction is stronger than the situation really called for.

I think that in working on triggering, my goal is to react to whatever I'm feeling in a calm, clear way-- both allowing myself to speak my truth and have the other person understand me, without annihilating or unnecessarily hurting them.