It sounds like your mom has some issues of her own if she is calling you names and not giving you the help you are asking for! I'm sorry about that. I'm 42 now, but when I was a teen I also turned to drugs to try and escape the pain (didn't know that was why at the time...). It sounds like you really do need some help, and I hope you will not give up. As for the guy you mentioned, I would say just because you think of someone every day doesn't mean they are good for you. If he treats you poorly, and I'm guessing he does since you called him an asshole, you are better off without him. If you are surrounded by people who treat you poorly you will not feel better.

I do hope you find this to be a place where you can get some support until you can get more in real life. Things can get better as you work on things! Don't give up! Thanks for posting here and I hope to keep hearing from you!