I think the best way to focus on relationships that have gone south is to figure out what we have LEARNED by them......what to look for the next time, what to look at as a huge red flag.......what we want & what we don't want.....when we focus on it as a learning experience, the pain seemed to lessen for me that is....but then I've always been that sort of logical minded person.....just helped with not feeling a lot of pain.

As a matter of fact, after all these years, I am extatic about finally getting the divorce I have been waiting for...so sorrow, no grief....just really feel sorry that the guy who I tolerated for so long & who had times when he tolerated me....but he could never have a close meaningful emotional bond even after 33 years.....oh well, win some, loose some...life goes on & we try to protect ourselves the best we can