Hi sweetie, you are hurting so bad right now and im so sorry, i have been in your shoes, i cut for many years and now i live with really bad scars that make me regret what i did, i hope you never cut again. I dont want you to have to live with sad reminders on your skin. I care about you, im here for you, please keep yourself safe, take it one day at a time, i know things will get better for you just try to hang in there.