I haven't felt as depressed lately - although my sleep is pitiful (when I sleep at all), which signals depression for me. And I might feel a bit better, but...

Lately I've been going through another of what I call my "victimization times." (I've had so many of these times I actually came up with a name for it ) Whenever I leave my apartment, it seems like people are going out of their way to be hateful to me. In traffic, in public places.

I went to the movies today (to get out of the hellish heat here) and people sat behind me who were talking through the movie. So I turned around and gave them a dirty look. They not only didn't shut up and behave like they had some manners, they started coughing, kicking the chair, etc. These weren't even children! I'm SOOOOO tired of having to take %#@&#! from bullies. I got up and moved, but it ruined my movie-going experience.

Yesterday, when I went to my car (I have to park blocks away now because an obnoxious neighbor vandalized my car 3 weeks ago), I was parked in front of a house, a couple of blocks away. I left at least a foot of space between me and the driveway of that house, and no one was parked behind me. When I went out to get into my car last night, the home owners had put their trash cans out onto the street (to be collected this morning). They put two cans out - one about half an inch from the front of my car, and the other one about three inches behind my car, blocking me in. They had PLENTY of room at the curb to put both of the cans either in front or back of my car, but they decided to be hateful and block me in. I tried to move one of the cans, but it was so heavy I could barely budge it. Why did they have to be hateful to me? I did nothing to them, I wasn't taking up any space they needed. I have a tendency to write it off to how hateful, stupid and obnoxious people are in Los Angeles. But sometimes I wonder if I'm just choosing to see people's actions as persecution. I really don't think I do that. I think they ARE being a-holes. But it happens so often (especially lately), I'm beginning to doubt my sanity. I know I've always been a victim/scapegoat, but a lifetime of it is TOO MUCH.

Am I even crazier than I think I am?