I do understand those types that are "selective helplessness and helpfulness" too and have found that getting even them on the go works better with sugar then with vinigar especially if you scoop out the sugar above and beyond. soon they are on the go just to get you out of their business. LOL

I have this one friend that phones me. and when she does its all "poor poor me Im so sick I cant do this that and the other thing and creating sicknesses and problems for herself and offers help that she knows she cannot deliver on.

One situation in which I turned on the sugar and let her sink in it -

She called me one time to see if she could stir up things by telling me she recieved a paper from DHS to adopt my chiild that is in foster care and residential treatment programs and she wanted to be helpful to me by letting me know she got that paper and yes she wanted to take my child and raise him for me and also to discuss she had this problem and this problem and so on.

What she didn't know is that I have a list of contacts of those who are able to take my child if he is ready to leave foster care and on the chance that I am unable to bring him home. She is not on that DHS approved list and I have court hearings every 6 months with DHS to review the case and my sons progress and yearly court hearing for t he same. and her being helpful phonecall came a few days after a hearing so I knew exactly what was going on with my child and the case and its not putting him up for adoption. he is going to need the services of residential treatment programs through out his teen years and possibly as a young adult.

I knew she was just trying to stir up trouble for me so I poured on the sugar. I told her how thankful I was and how great she is to adopt my child and that I will call DHS right then and they will contact her area's DHS and her agency will come to her home and evaluate her and her girls to make sure they have enough space, and everyone will have to go through the DHS mental health consultants resourse list to go through a comprehensive psychological evaluation just to make sure that every one in her household is stable because adopting a child who has schizophrenia can be quite stressful. then once that is done her and I and DHS can sit down and sign the adoption paperwork with the judge. and wow the way DHS moves on my case we can have this all done in just two weeks cool.

The woman went into hemming and hawing and had to get off the phone to try and locate the paper my DHS supposedly sent her. but I kept up a steady stream of upbeat talk about how I needed to call my lawyer that night to let him know and by the next day the judge on the case would also know that she recieved a paper from DHS ... but uh oh someone screwed up. my son is a minor which means someone within DHS voilated his confidentiality by sending illegal adoption papers out after stating in a court hearing my child was not going to be placed up for adoption because I have not lost my parental rights.

This might go even faster because once the judge hears she got a DHS paper an imediate investigation into the present caseowrker will happen so within the next couple days a DHS case worker is going to be in court and possibly fired for breach of federal laws. cCOOL she is going to get to testify in court for me and my son against a DHS caseworker.

The woman dropped the phone - at least thats what she told me when I called her back when we got disconnected and she found the paper she thought was from DHS.the paper was supposedly from her childs school because they were collecting money for the Katrina victims in New Orleans. She could not possibly adopt my child and she was so sorry to get my hopes up with this misunderstanding. and she hoped I hadn't made any other calls before calling her back after she dropped the phone and she hung up and did not call me for 6 months. LOL

hang in there.