When me and my ex were together I was aware he had anger issues and was very self absorbed. He was very critical of me and verbally abusive. He could be so cruel it was almost unreal.

We split up after six years as it became so unbearable to live with him. We have a child together who is disabled. My ex was abusive for a time after we split but settled down after a while and we remained amicable. He can be very nice but is not to be trusted as he simmers under the surface and lashes out in very underhand ways.

Unfortunately my own health problems have meant my ex and his new girlfriend have taken over care of my son during the week. It's a long story and very complicated, but I have only ever been honest and upfront with them. Unfortunately my ex has taken this as a power trip and repeatedly accuses me of being a neglectful mother. He has ridiculed my health problems too.

I have always been against seeking legal advice due to making the situation worse for my son and myself. My son has a very involved social worker who is committed to finding the best way forward but she has lately stuck up for my ex even when he verbally attacked me in front of her, saying 'he needed to express his feelings now we can all move on.' I understand she may be looking at what is best for my son but I feel she is letting him dicate my life. Or maybe I am letting him but I feel I have no support. My ex now looks at everything I do for our son when he wasn't even on the scene properly until two years ago and I didn't know his girlfriend until three years ago.

The tables have now turned and I don't know what to do. I have always wanted to keep the peace for the sake of my son...always. But a friend of mine says I let my ex bully me, walk all over me etc, and the social worker seems blinkered too and is very much in favour of my ex and what he can do. My feelings and frustrations over my situation and how painful it has all been ( and giving up my son has been agony ) have been totally forgotten.

Do I seek legal advice on where I stand? There is more to the story than this but I can't go into it all. I wonder whether legalising everything will help or make it worse when an ex has NPD? How do I manage this bullying behaviour whilst not making it worse for my son?