You do not get to decide what is "right" for me (others). Living is not about doing the right thing; it is about doing what feels right and good for one's self. But being dead is not about living so, like the future, is best not contemplated much as it can't be of much help in how to live well.

Yes, death can stop hurting; but it's like a using a stick of dynamite to clean up a dirty kitchen; it may seem like a good idea but you end up with no kitchen in the end, not a better, cleaner one. I would ask for help and focus on the tasks of living rather than being philosophical and contemplating death.