It should be no surprise that my head is full of useless trivia that I share here.

Some it may hit the mark, with certain people, and some of it may just cause head shaking and a quick trip to another thread.

I believe that it's in most of us to feel, at times, that we have every answer in the book and that we sure need to put it out there.

BUT, that isn't necessarily so...in many situations. We've discussed how hard it is to know what to say, at different times. Some find it hard to say anything and others seem to have just the right answer. But there are times when I feel that we may confuse someone, especially if they are new, by giving way too much information.

I know for myself, that too much information can be worse than no information at all........and I'm guilty of having "too much to say".

A long-winded, and sometimes convuluted, answer/lecture can really turn someone, who came here for "support only", off. I just can't stop myself from adding a few extras now and then.

This brings to mind a story that I told about my dog, Henrietta, rolling in cow---- on a camping trip one time. I was furious with her, mainly because I had to use one of our needed gallons of water to clean her up. In telling her everything that was on my mind, I criticized a choice that Henri made. That hurt her deeply. The only way that she could show me that she was hurt was to crawl under the trailer and stay for quite some time.

I've come to believe that when someone comes in to post and they ask a simple question and indicate that they need support/guidance/caring and we go off on a long tangent in our answer, we're criticizing a choice they made. We read between the lines and come up with all sorts of stuff that just muddies their waters.

I feel that sometimes a poster might want to crawl under the trailer and stay for awhile, so we'll shut up. Let's try to read, carefully, exactly what the poster is asking/saying and respond in kind.

It's hard. We're all so smart and full of answers. But, if it helps one person to feel that they were heard, I'm for it. And I'll be the first to slap my hand when I feel tempted to write a book, instead of just showing some support and letting them tell me if they need more.

love, pat