thanks for the clarification, lostangel. i don't know if you see a T but using one really helped me. i learned new life skills to cope with just about everything i did. i was a mess and thought i was a freak of nature. i find your definition of emotional cutting as an addiction a good one too. when we're "sick" we keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. we self sabotage ourselves. alcoholics do too. in therapy you can learn how to set healthy boundaries with others. it can also help to identify ppl you associate with your self destructive behaviors. making "bad" choices. most importantly for me it came down to me not loving myself. i had to learn how to love me. a simple task for some but not me.
why not do a list of things ppl like about you? (if we do it re ourself it's almost impossible). so envision the things they see and like about you. it may surprise you and allow yourself to see the positive things re you. and perhaps take up something new to give you enjoyment. i never knew how to relax. had to be doin' something constructive all the time. i felt guilty just "playing". had to learn how to cut myself a break and do something special just for me. (and that's loving yourself!)