Soup, what great insight you have and great responsiblilty to fess up to your own actions and emotions and own them. I said to my now ex, that she made me angry one day and that I went home and got annoyed at her. Then I realised I wasn't mad at what she did, I was mad because I was ashamed at myself and ashamed st my behaviour, she just tried to get that anger out. When I told her how, I wasn't angry at her just ashamed of my behaviour(I did something totally out of character and she brought it saying, how could I be shy if I did that) She was so proud that I was able to own my emotions and not blame her and said I had come a long way since we first met, so congratulations Soup for working through YOUR issues.
AS for the meditation, I cannot speak for everyone but I know for me it helps with my anger. It makes me really calm and gives a sense of clarity and helps see things I wouldn't have seen before. I was always stressed but not anymore, I was a people pleaser but now I please myself. I sit with myself for 30 minutes a day, just me and my thoughts and it really helps.. Like you I couldn't stand to be alone before, I hated my own company, now I love it.