I can relate to your anger Soup as mine spurs mostly from attachment too and how the people I have attached to have hurt me terribly. T has helped me to realise that I have chose this pattern and sometimes I self sabotage, I have no idea why I do this as she terminated with me before getting into it (another example of people I attach to hurting me).
We and only we are in control of our lives and the choices we make directly affect our lives, its not that its my fault this happened to me but I have to take respnsibility for my choices...I dont know if this makes any sense to you Soup, but sometimes you have to leave the paddling pool and plunge into the deep end to float on your own and feel free.