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Still planning to leave my BF after our trip to Austria in two weeks... Going to tell him that I can't be in a relationship with him at least until he's had a lot of therapy... But I am not even sure I have the right to say he is an abusive person... His alters have hurt me many times before but he has never hurt me, not even once. Every time his alters have hurt me he has cried and hugged me and apologised profusely, he would never hurt me. He loves me more than anything else in the world. Yet I still find myself scared of him when he gets angry (which often causes him to switch to violent alters). My alters have done horrible things to him before and he hasn't even complained... One of my alters threw a glass at him and repeatedly punched him in the chest but he forgives me... He is so in love with me he says he can't imagine ever being with anyone else... I feel like he is too nice to me for me to complain about the things that he does to me that are out of my control...
What has happened in the past was that his alters have choked me/grabbed hold of my wrists and squeezed so tight that it hurt a lot... I also once locked myself in the bathroom because he was doing these things and he started bashing on the door and almost broke the lock off. This behaviour has stopped since I threatened to leave him if he hurt me one more time but I suspect his alters may be abusing my pets still. I'm not sure of this though.
I feel like I do need to get away from him until he's had help because an alter switched today and he seemed angry and one of the things he said to me was "I wouldn't do that, I'm not a very nice person," and then he was laughing at my rats and I asked if he wanted to hold one and he said "Yes, I like animals, I don't like people. I kill people." Obviously he doesn't actually kill people, he just has false memories of doing so. But still some of the alters can be pretty scary... But all of the things above make me feel like... He (excluding his alters) is so nice that I should be willing to put up with a little bit of bad... Am I in denial? Is it normal to feel this confused? :s
Kaz x
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