Well, those feelings of being normal and the diagnosis being a mistake didn't last long.

Back to work today, and I could barely sit still during two meetings.

At my desk, I had another episode of nodding off to sleep and jerking really hard to wake myself up (sleep apnea), and my hand kind of jerked and raked across the keyboard and made a weird sound. Along with the gasp when I tried to get some air as I woke up, I made a weird noise because my fingernails against the keyboard startled me.

Then someone who has been training me on some of the tasks that I'm doing so terribly at (and have been written up about them, and received the really bad annual review) decided to get super-picky. Even though he has reviewed this project twice in the last week, he decided to review it again today.

He got SO INCREDIBLY PICKY and I wanted to screen at him. Now I've missed a deadline turning the project in to someone in another department who is waiting for it. This time, it's not my fault that it's late because this dude decided to get picky even though he has seen this whole project twice already.

Then he left early and sent me an email telling me to follow the steps he was taking and continue reviewing the project and making changes based on what he had already changed.

Could he possibly have been any more vague?

Sure. I'll read your mind, buddy, if you read between my fingers.

I'm sure I'll get in trouble again tomorrow because I sent him an email asking exactly what he meant. These people tell me to ask questions if I'm in doubt, and then when I ask them, I am in trouble for it.

Must hold on until Wednesday when I go to the psychologist so I can get this short-term disability thing kicked in.

I am SO hoping this works and I can get the time off with partial pay, sort out my meds, get some peace, and figure out my life.