I took the trans parenting class to mean transitional parenting.....transitioning from married to divorced........not transparent...lol. (we all have our own interpretations)

Out of state divorces aren't a picnic either.....makes a whole other can of worms....like the person can't be served....my lawyer says it's all by mail (I would imagine registered).

The gotcha is that my husband ignored the IRS letter for back taxes completely until I finally got it when the California mail was forwarded to my farm in KY that first Christmas when I gave him a chance to see if a change in environment would help him as much as it did me...it didn't, I kicked him out.....then I got the letter (good thing he wasn't there at that time & was 2100 miles away or he would have landed 2100 miles away anyway.....he also ignored all the calls by the mortgage company for over 6 months while the house went into foreclosure....telling me via texting that he was trying for a loan modification when he hadn't even talked to them......so I have no idea how he's going to respond to my lawyer's letter. Lawyer also said that in order to resolve assets/liabilities existing, I might have to go out to Ca & deal with it (I left most everything I owned there when I left) thinking that I would come back & get it...but after everything that happened & the economy fell apart......never got back there & then with the foreclosure & that situation lawyer also said not to go back to Ca because then they might serve me on the deficiency if they choose to after the foreclosure sale.......think everything is just gone.....but I am going to have the lawyer draw up the payoff of the IRS back taxes bill that my husband's retirement fund is paying off....I told him at the time, 1/2 was mine & 1/2 was his even in our separation & because neither of us has any other money to make the monthly payment to the IRS for the next several years.......I either want an agrement that money continues to go to pay the IRS, or force him if possible to take out the lump sum....pay off the IRS & then split the rest....don't know how that will work....but it's the only retirement money left after he blew it so financially when my depression got so bad I couldn't do the finances any longer.

Even without children in the picture, it can get ugly.....maybe even worse especially after being together in the same house for 33 years....I have so many things from my grandmother & things I got with other inheritance money that isn't his in California....in ky, they have a dawry law......crazy....everything no matter how you get it is split 50/50. Backwards state in that regard unless they think that mostly men get the inheritances with the farms & stuff.

Sounds to me that even when my divorce is over, it's not going to really be over in some ways......time will tell.