Thanks Leed,

I understand what you are saying about the meds. I was on meds from age 17 till 32...and don't remember them helping much. I have taken Cymbalta on few different occasions where it helped for little while then was back to feeling horrible again. I am not so sure about the med thing though. I have tried meds a few times since been off to have some pretty bad side effects. I feel like have been on hundreds of meds with different combos and things like that only to feel horrible in the end.

I will talk to T about all u have said in the morning, I see her today and am pretty nervous about all of it. I will also be having my last meeting with a social worker as my committment is ending...YAY!!

I was able to sleep for about 45 min or so in the evening and when woke up felt like a switch had been turned off. Could breathe again and my thinking wasn't so all over the place. I was able to go to a friends downstairs for dinner, had to force myself to eat as have absolutely no appetite. I didn't stay long just enough to have dinner and a little conversation with her. She's a really good friend, just right now can't handle being around ppl. Can't handle much of conversation as my mind starts to go round and round and round again.

It's almost 1 in the morning and again find myself unable to sleep, unable to control the thoughts and conversation going on up there. It's so overwhelming at times and distraction seems pretty impossible.

Thanks for listening and responding.

Jen