Hello

I'm concerned that I may have type 2 BPD. It's gotten really bad over the last year since a major breakup. The worst part is knowing that people have gossiped about my depressive, paranoid, and manic tendencies due to the major x-gf and girls that I've dated since devaluing me in various social circles. I feel that I've been labelled as crazy. I know some pretty twisted people (alcoholics, druggies) that have been very cruel and inconsiderate. I suspect they have their own issues and feel better when they bully and degrade other people.

I would really like any advice dealing with passive aggressive people. The teasing and petty comments really get to me. I think that if I didn't let that bother me so much, I would be able to recover my reputation somewhat.

Furthermore, it's tough getting older and feeling alone. I'm not unnattractive, but I am insecure about my thinning hair. I oscillate between not caring and obsessing about it, and when I do get down, I tend to worry about it too much.

I have had several relationships, but I never seem to find anyone that will be supportive. Women seem to expect men to be stoic and strong, and I am most of the time, but I wish I could open up and trust someone to be there for me and not judge me when I drop my guard or are feeling bummed out. It's actually really easy to cheer me up, but most the women I've dated don't seem to care, and it's hard for me to trust women to not throw the situation back into my face the next time they are upset.

I just don't know how to get better. I have finally seen a shrink and he prescribed Nuvigil to help with my growing lethargy and, strangely, insomnia. I'm anxious to see how it works. I've tried Modafinil before and it made me energetic and more focused, but it had an irritable edge on it, especially the next day. I hope reduced dosing will work.

Please feel free to comment. I would hope that this is an understanding and caring community. Trolling me won't help anything. Sorry if I'm being defensive.

If you've read this, I appreciate you. I needed an outlet. Thank you!

-Me