I have always had a rather adrogenous side of me; masculine handwriting, some of my intrests were and are more masculine, more agression than one tends to see in a female, etc. Most of my problems, though with being female are social. I dislike the physical vulnerability but even more the "victim status". I and so many others were raised that we were born to be prey and therefore had to be protected. I resent knowing i have rights because I am "allowed" to have rights, that they can disappear tomorrow if I am not very vigilant. I resent that even today a lot of men think a big benefit to being female is that we "get" to be decorative. I hate the idea that I am supposed to somehow be weak and soft and if I am not by nature, I have to fake it. I very very dislike the social game playing that goes on in female cirlcels, even though I am aware that a certain amount also goes on in male hierarchies also. There is this way the women I have known have had of getting the claws in...

Please be aware that these are my own little demons from my own past, and I have met and worked with wonderful women and had trouble with terrible men. I even dream dreams where I am a man in my dreams, but they have seldom if ever been sexually tinged. I have mostly only been aware of it by looking down and seeing the hands in the dream And I am pretty brutally straight It's just that I can understand those who feel that they are born in the wrong body pretty well. When i was four, I could never figure out why I kept losing all the peeing contests at preschool
Huggs all!