Everytime I have sex with someone. (Doesn't matter who it is.) I ALWAYS end up crying... but I hate myself if I choose not to have sex with them. It used to be that anything sexual brought back bad memories...but now it's just...no matter what's on my mind, if i'm having sex with someone...I just start getting more and more depressed and upset...until I just start bawling my eyes out. I don't understand.