(((shattered sanity))) One of these days you CAN get away from these people in your lives who are making you so miserable. You have so much of life ahead of you. You can at least share your pain with us here, if you don't want to try another T right now. Life can get better. Many of us know--we have been in a similar situation to where you are. Remember, too, that suicide is a "permanent solution to a temporary problem," if that's what you are considering.