((((soup)))) it seems then that not sharing with T is connected a bit with protecting both of you? (adult soup and child soup)
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For me one of the strengths of this site, is reading what others have experienced - for me it makes my own thoguhts an dfeelings feel less weird. I can't say I still feel that warmth for "her" now, I have hated her so much that I would have willingly violently annihilate her, but at least now I know there is a possibility of having a different relationship with her.
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it helps knowing that a different kind of relationship is possible I think