Hey everyone.

I don't know about you but what I find one of the most difficult things about bingeing is the secrecy behind it. The secrecy and the lack of support. When I have a huge urge to binge I NEED to talk to someone who knows how I'm feeling or talk to someone and just get every feeling i am feeling off my chest. Sometimes I write in my journal but it isn't necessarily the first thing i go to. Sometimes I just want a human to speak to. Also, when i have just binged and feel really really low, I really need support. I need someone to talk to and someone to speak to about how i am feeling (often low, helpless, depressed and angry). That is why I am so glad I discovered this place. I want to create a thread where we can all support each other and support each other when we may have a big urge to binge or already have binge.

So today i binged. It all dtarted in the morning. I was going to go to the gym with my sister and she said she wasn't ready to leave yet. now, I do not drive and so I depend on my little sister for lifts. Ok, not DEPEND, but she drives so she cantake me to the gym because I do not drive. Anyway, after being told that we were not leaving now (I had no control over the situation- SHE decided when we leave- I couldnt just hop in my car and drive away which would be very therepeutic for myself in times of feeling a binge come on I think). Anyway I felt powerless and like I had little say of what and when I wanted to do things or go out. Just like trapped, you know? So I dunno, I just wanted to binge. It must have been the wanting to escape from the feeling of being powerless. I ate some chocoltae pudding and cereal and grabbed some cookies and bread with lots of butter and honey.
Woah, it's emotionally draining writing everything about how I feel down. It feels like I have been bingeing for ages but I have only been bingeing for the last 7 days. Though, that is a sign that something isnt right. And I know what that is..I am bored, I am lonely, I feel I have no routine, I'm doing nothing that I love and..

anyway, I just wanted to get that off my chest. Anyone else had a similar kind of day or want to share a story?

Stay strong,

purplegrape xoxo