New day same feelings. have to leave home today for several hours and I am very anxious. still not understanding my purpose her in life. keep asking myself that question but do not have the answer. Don't know why I can not take pleasure in the girls I have raised 2 are adults and doing well. the challenge is still home, a middle schooler. I think that responsibility is what keeps me just questioning my purpose, she lost her father at 2 so I am really all she has. When I can, I zone out from the world with my meds which I know is dangerous, but the pain goes away for a short period. This week my T has me checkin in daily, I don't think I have the nerve to do do anything drastic, but without a purpose why am I here?