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Aug 08, 2012, 12:37 PM
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Member Since: Jun 2005
Location: WV
Posts: 8,131
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"I had time to think, and I have realized my part in all of this and I am changing. I know I wasn't perfect and I am willing to do whatever it takes to move forward and make us better- it would never be the same as it was- but with work and commitment...we can make it better for us and our baby. I love him. And if he can give us a real chance, then we can take it slow to work on us. I offered living separately for awhile to help work on us...I didn't think it was a good idea to just move back immediately."
AI, it is so sad that you are having to deal with these emotions of self-doubt and emotional pain as you await the birth of your daughter.
Stop thinking of how you "love him." Also stop blaming yourself, like
"I had time to think, and I have realized my part in all of this and I am changing." You've done nothing wrong, and certainly nothing that would cause him to abandon you as he has. The only thing that is important at this point, for you, is having a healthy baby. All this depression you are feeling is definitely affecting the baby you will have very soon.
This boy is not there for you, and whatever he is going thru is really no longer your concern. The only thing he needs to do is man-up and provide financial support. At some point, you will probably realize this.
Childbirth is a hard thing, and will probably be an awakening for you, as to the situation in which you find yourself. There is a substantial period of recovery, physically and emotionally, even in happy circumstances. You will need all the help and support you can get. (And you will not get it from this "boy.") Time to focus on yourself and your immediate needs.
Try taking care of yourself.
Patty
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