Thanks so much to everyone for ur kind words and support.

Am really trying to be kind to myself today. Trying to not think too much and too deep...really trying to stay in the moment and ground myself. So far it's working. Listening to the rain is so soothing and rocking myself has calmed inside lots so far.

I have been thinking of meds too. I am just not so sure about them right now. They help lots ppl, just not me. I know that they aren't instant fix, nor does it take depression and other things completely away. Since my last Overdose I am just not able to take medication like used to. Even taking something for a headache gives me so much anxiety and have a hard time swallowing them. I spoke with my social worker yesterday and she suggested a patch that is medication. It's a MAOI and it's called emsam patch. She also suggested ECT once again. I don't have an appt with pdoc as I cancelled it with him when decided to not go back on meds and seeing him would just waste his time when not going to take anything and he won't prescribe the ativan that am on for anxiety. My reg doc does that.

I don't know what the rest of the day holds in store. Just gonna try and take it moment by moment and really work on being kind to myself. I know things have to change so just going to try and take it slow and know that there will be times that are miserable, just need to remember it can't last forever right?

Thanks so much again to all u.
You are all great and many hugs to you all
Jen