Welcome, patricia_48.

I'm so sorry to hear of your many losses.

You said;

I talked to a doc who specilizes in grief therapy and he told me to pick the one that affected me the most and write them a letter and grieve one at a time.

I really hope this works for you and you can start to find some peace.

I grieve in bits and pieces. I've spent so much time holding others up, that I grab tiny moments of grief for myself here and there. And like you, I don't know who to grieve first.

For me it's like getting hit with a wave. I'm trying to grab and hold onto shells while I'm tumbling and swirling and I just can't.

I have to wait until the tide recedes, however long it takes. Then, and only then can I start to sift through it all before the tide rushes in again.

The path to healing is different for everyone but one thing is the same. It's heartbreakingly difficult.

Take care,

Petunia