Found: I went through my list from my insurance co. Only two were available to make appts... I initially went to both of them.

First appt: I find it very easy to talk (I usually talk to much, and I tell everything "story" style) so both appts were comfortable. There are very few things which I am shy to talk about so I tried to get a feel for both of them as to who I would be more comfortable with. It didn't make much difference to me, that's really something up to me unless the T is really bad or really makes me uncomfortable.

Clicked: I'm still not sure. I do like going every week, so I am comfortable there and I can talk freely. I always feel better after seeing him, but I just don't feel anything helping yet. Again I think more to do with me than with him. Mostly because of the hour long appts... I felt more productive in the day program or IOP, an hour is not a lot of time.

M/F: Both that were available were male, but I don't really have a preference. Inpatient and IOP I had both. I think I am slightly more comfortable with a male but I think the differences between therapists is bigger than my preference for M/F so I can't see that effecting my decision more than their overall personality.

Age: I don't think it matters. I didn't even think about that. I have difficulty judging people's ages, so I think my current T is older than me but he may very well be younger. I think I just "assigned" older in my head, maybe I feel more comfortable that way. I'm not sure if someone very old or very young would be an issue.

Style: I like a good balance. Friendly and open but I also need a little formality to keep me on track. My current T likes Star Wars and Star Trek, and I like that a lot because it is easy to make analogies for things I can't quite put into words. I have to be careful not to go off and spend the whole hour talking about sci-fi and this guy is formal enough to interrupt if we are not addressing important things within our hour.

Type: I am not sure. I know he doesn't do DBT or things that require homework." He never gives me homework other than things to think about. I have specifically asked for homework and he has come up with good suggestions for me to bring in the following week, so he is flexible and that's good. (I asked for homework? Geez. NERD PATROL! Really, I just wanted something specific and constructive to do at home to help because I still seem to be fighting so hard with little results.)

Transference: Don't think I have any at all. Again I think that is me more than him.

How Long: Probably about 4 months? I'm just guessing, as I got him when my IOP wouldn't be covered by my insurance anymore, and then he was able to get me into another IOP program after two visits, and I resumed with him when that ended.

The two private T's were pretty different in style but I felt comfortable with them both. The one I chose was the one with a more "professional" air and he was part of the UBHC system where I had my second IOP so I thought it would be the most convenient. I actually continued seeing the other guy for two or three visits while I was in IOP and then stopped seeing him when I resumed with the first T.

The second T said something in one session that really validated some of my feelings so I do wonder if I would be better off with him. My current T doesn't not validate my feelings (he does) but mostly we discuss why I feel that way and seeing how a lot of my root issues effect everything. So on the one hand that may be a more constructive approach, but I may be more emotionally driven with the other guy, so it is a toss up. I can still go back to the other one if I decide to try a switch but for the time being I am sticking where I am.

------------------------------------
-- http://www.idexter.com