truth be told, the divorce is not finalized, but should be within a couple weeks. The ex wanted to drag this out to get excess concessions(i.e.: no drinking or drugs while in custody of child) It is not an even split, more of a one night per week and every other weekend deal for him.

You know, I would just love to be wary of commitment so soon( we have been dating approx. 8 months), but i can't seem to stay out of long-term relationships for any length of time. I don't go looking for them, but its like I have this sign on my head that lights up that one time every year or 3 when I am single again. We are already talking about getting married again... This I believe is due to the fact that once you get married, and live the married life, you (or i) forget how to do normal dating. Its more like cohabitation really. In this girl I have found someone who 1. Doesn't annoy me 2. Pleases me Sexually 3. Motivates me to be successful. Upon comparison to my last marriage, this is a vast improvement. I feel like my chances for finding someone are slimming as I get older, and if this young, foxy girl thinks I'm so great, and gets me motivated to be successful, and showers me with affection, WHY should I keep looking? Not to mention that db ex-dad sends a check each month to support a beautiful child conceived under less than ideal circumstances.

I find it so difficult to not invest 100% in every relationship that I have ever had... most of the time to my chagrin, but this time I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I will be the first to admit that I went blindly into my first marriage, idealizing the whole process, only to find out later that it gets real hard when you and the sig. other get past the point where sex makes everything better. I wish that someone would have pulled me aside and advised me against getting married 1. so young(23) 2. after such a short period of time. but you can't change the past.

Here I am again, knee deep in commitment and loving it. only this time its different. I have had time to face(not necessarily defeat) my demons, and get a perspective on how screwed up I am, I have been humbled by my loss, and I have moved forward in terms of my career(own my own business), but I feel the clock ticking. I want my own children. My line is one that needs to continue(not open for democratic vote) and until next week, I won't know whether or not she is pregnant. (this is a long, somewhat amusing, cosmically ironic tale) and while I know the timing could always be better(IE divorce being finalized, us actually being married 1st) I am ok with this option. I know that the most significant role I will ever play is as a father to my child, and if now is the time, then sobeit.

To me, the child that is already in this relationship is a major draw for why I am staying with it. To be primally blunt, its not everyday that you get to take someone else's awesome kid that they undervalue... And the thought of one of my own just seals the deal. I thought briefly about maybe wanting to go sew some more wild oats, up my sex count a bit while i still am attractive, but that's not me. I just want a family, and I know that the kids will force me to mature, and overcome my demons.
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I found out that she was fb lurking on the virginity taker's wedding photos. 1st of all, screw that guy, and I hope his wife finds him inadequate. 2nd of all, I am really threatened by this, bc I know that the first guy to enter a woman holds some sort of emotional bond over her, even if it was nothing to him. I know it is not to be changed, but seriously, please respect ME enough to leave this asshole behind. Her defense what that she was looking at everyone's wedding photos, but HOW CAN SHE NOT SEE THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THIS PEDOPHILE And anyone else's wedding photos. The worst part is, his family is friends with her family, and she gets to see him at another wedding that she is shooting.

I am accepting her contributions to other guys in the past. It cannot be changed... but every time I see his name I have this stupid combination of rage/nausea. Am I wrong for being so easily upset by the guy that violated my soon-to-be wife while she was still too young to make smart decisions?

I know that this guy, even though they have not talked in years, has some type of power over her. I would argue that it is the same for everyone's first. I like the person that she is now, and I don't want her to be reminded of who she used to be. But she gets upset with me for being bothered when she is looking at his family photos. I feel I am justified in wanting to protect my investment in this relationship. She says it is about me not trusting her, and while I am not worried about her cheating on me or anything, I know that her impressions of these other guys, especially her first, will never leave.

I love the person that she is now, but I fear where she will turn when she eventually gets bored with me, or feels like our relationship has stagnated. Is this fear of mine irrational?