Fear is a terrible thing, for any reason. (((hugs)))) Greenleaves, regardless of whether this is the big C or not... you can improve your mental health by calming yourself more... frustration is well.. frustrating!!! BUT totally stressing out won't help, in fact, it can make you sicker.

If you can find time to calm and relax and think soothing thoughts of self care... and even visualizing those lumps disappearing (no matter what they are made of!) that would be beneficial to you.

On a side note, I doubt that the other sites would know how to help you, or understand you even if you told them you are also suffering with a mental illness You know, sometimes you overwhelm us here, and there's no better group of members than at PC! We forget that not all sites are as kind, until we go somewhere else. TC it wasn't all you.