I totally understand. I was sexually abused/ raped 20 + years ago. I have 3 kids. But boy was it embarrassing getting them. I don't know if you ever saw the movie "A Coal Miners Daughter, The Story of Loretta Lynn" Well anyway she gets pregnant and pulls the covers up over her head during the exam.
I don't like physical touch, I have no desire, and just want to be left alone. But I also know men have needs. Thats what married people do. There are not many ways to get kids with your clothes on. The most sure way to overcome embarassment is to just do it. After every doctor and nurse you come in contact with see your stuff for 10 mo out of a year and everyone handles everything they can get there hands modisty seems to just go out the window. Child number one was award after that everyone had seen all I had so who cares if a dozen more folks saw it with birth number 2 and number 3. I still don't like to be touched, hugged, holding hands, kissing, yuck. I guess rape does that to some folks. But it did not make me doubt weather I liked guys or girls. I knew I liked guys even though this one hurt me and several others tried. I just had faith that the right one would show up or none would show up and I would be the old cat lady later on. Turns out I'm the cat lady with a husband. I love my kitties and my husband. So you can have your cake and eat it to.
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