[quote=dolphingirl;2479627]He would "jam" our bedroom door with newspaper at night so it would be extremely tough, almost impossible for me and my younger siblings to open, so he could be naked, drink, and view porn. without us disturbing him.

Billi says: When I was 12, my aunt blocked my bedroom door with a chest of drawers. I freaked out and escaped thru my back window, into the back yard. I stood out there I think for half an hour. I was so upset. Then I went thru the patio, and went back into the house thru the front door. My aunt goes, "Hi, Billi. Where have you been?" She did not remember doing this. I am coming to terms with her doing that and other things. They were "legal", but extremely traumatic to me!

Though it was to the point of where they ended up vomiting/urinating in the bedroom because they couldn't get the door open. During the day, doing those sorts of things while he thought we were in another room watching tv/reading/playing/playing outside for me to find that fully happening. Storing those in my little brother's closet or on our desk. Trying to "help" my siblings get changed or "accidentally" entering even though they were old enough and capable of changing. "Inspecting" a gun (holding it out as if aiming) in a small room a few feet from me and my sister. Though he said it wasn't loaded, they were scared and asked him to put it away and he wouldn't. He also decided to play "jail" with us which involved dragging us about half the length of a long backyard with rough grass though we asked not to. His wandering hands. Comments about my weight and my sister's weight, though I'm average/small and she is under-weight. How I've gained weight or my sister "developing nice breast". My sister had surgery and wouldn't eat afterwards, so she lost a lot of weight; my dad commented about how she's looking good now that she lost weight (she was skinny before surgery, she's underweight after it) and that I needed to make sure to buy her plenty of nice clothes that fit her new body.

Billi says: "Helping" a child dress. Hmmm...sounds to me like an excuse to be inappropriate with the child. My aunt bathed me when I was four til nine. She examined me, too, she often wanted to take nude pics of me in the bathtub, or take pics of me and my gf's naked. GROSS.....!!!! Sometimes I just hate her now!

Well, that's a good portion of it. I've been told by other people that grown men/dads shouldn't be walking around/doing those things with children present and making those types of comments.

Billi says, I agree! Completely inappropriate for parents to do to their children!

At the same time when we tried to contact Children's services, they said as long as we weren't being forced to watch, it wasn't abuse...

Billi says: I don't care if it was legal. If I had been in your place, I would have been very traumatized by what that man did! And again my aunt did things to me that really upset me and made me very uncomfortable.
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I am not a therapist, social worker, or a cop and I have no right to make any assessments here, but it seems like he did something very similar to what my aunt did. Covert abuse. Covert abuse is difficult if not impossible to catch. I think you were abused. Just my opinion and my own experience. I will allow you to judge it for yourself.

Take gentle care,


Billi