I rang rape crisis this morning because I was in a really bad way, but I got in an argument with the lady (!!). I told her that I don't think the ex who raped me was trying to control me, he was just kinda drunk and didn't care enough to hear me squeaking "no" at him and she would not accept that as an explanation. So then I told her that I have to be a virgin again or I'll have to kill myself, and she totally blew up at me about how women are not only their virginity. Sooooo I told her that she deserved to be raped, and hopefully someday a man could rape her small-mindedness out of her :-x Um yeah. I don't think I'm allowed to ring rape crisis anymore. :-X

And I feel like **** now and I have to write the annual report at work and I can't focus.