So I have been officially bipolar for about six weeks now, un officially for six years. When I finally got help I was so tired, just exhausted from riding out the mood swings that I actually had nothing left. I just bowled up to the drs office and have been so good - no more alchohol, taking the drugs, being honest, keeping appointments. I don't know why I was so surprised after this to still feel down, and have been feeling low for a while now, to the point that it's affected my work and I have had time off. This is ok. Depression isn't exactly new to me.

The thing is, I've lost my fight/mojo/courage/get-up-and-kick-arse-even-though-i-feel-like-dying powers. It's as if I have no energy reserve to draw on. I'm not sure if it's the meds taking away my hypo switch, or just being tired to my bones but my ability to push on, to 'fake it', to put on a brave face, it's gone.
And when I think of bipolar being a forever thing I just can't even comprehend how I can have a life without my "overdrive" setting.

What do you guts think? Can you relate? Is it just normal life without the hypo? Or maybe I'm just grieving or something?

I guess my question is, how do you push on when there is nothing left? I mean, I'm not going to top myself or anything but being alive and functioning is kinda hard sometimes, as you well know, and I have never felt so drained and empty and broken before. Tips for self-revival?

Cheers,

Me