(((puffypure))),

Oh you're not rambling, don't be sorry, that is what PC is for, opening up and talking and seeing what others have to say too.

Well, it is possible that your mother has some rage issues when she is abusive, was your mother abused in her childhood? Knowing her background could be helpful.
It is "possible" that your mother may have some type of identity disorder and she is just not aware of it. My T told me that he has had patients that he noticed would change their personalities in therapy so he decided to record the sessions. His patient (a woman) didn't even realize until she listened to the tape that she was "different identities" in therapy, she was very unaware she had this problem.

When children are growing up, before the age of five they don't really have a whole sense of self in one identity. It may seem like they do because some children can be very bold and forward and confident, but they are not yet at a point were their emotions come together to develope in the brain. We all have our emotional strengths and weaknesses and different concepts about different things where these emotions come forward. But as I said for someone with some kind of dissasociative identity disorder, these separate parts didn't quite come together to form one consciousness, instead these people have developed "separate identities that kick in when the person is struggling with something. And often these people are not truely "aware", they disassociate. It is complicated and something you may need to read more about. I can't diagnose your mother ofcourse, all I can do is present a "maybe" this is what you are seeing in your mother that is confusing you. And it doesn't mean that you are going to be the same way either.

Has your mother ever sought therapy for herself? One thing you could do is find a way to record her when she changes how she is displaying her personality. If you can get enough together, maybe "if she is approachable" you could show her how she is behaving.

Are you seeing a T yourself? Because if you were, you could record your mother and show it to your T. A qualified T would be able to look at the situation and give you more advice.

(((Hugs)))