Unfortunately, I am not surprised that your depressions are getting worse over the years. This is common. Depression (and in particular bipolar depression) is sort of a progressive disease. It is common that the first few depressive episodes are more mild and triggered by difficult life events. As time goes on, the episodes tend to be more severe, longer, and not triggered by anything.

As someone who has struggled to find a good med combo over the years, one thing I have found helpful is to bring a type written chart of meds I have taken, when, and their positive and negative effects. Sure this info is likely in your chart somewhere, but doc's sometimes don't take time to read carefully etc. It helps to do some of their work for them.

I know it is easy to get discouraged. I experienced one depression that lasted for years until I hit on the right drug for me (Abilify). It can get better. Keep fighting.

Best,
EJ