My first step towards dealing with depression was getting angry enough at the disease to motivate me. I got angry that I was being robbed of my life. The anger energized me to act. Later on, I had to deal with the anger, which was also hard, but it was all worth it. My attitude had to be that I was commited to change, no matter how long it took, that anything was better than staying in that black hole. Good luck, and God bless you.