Quote:
Originally Posted by JLarissaDragon
My sex drive is stronger than my husband's too, but I really do not wait for him to take the initiative if I am in the mood and he is not. There is a lot you can do in terms of gentle touch to get his body to come alive. I have taken the attitude that in marriage my body is his and his is mine. Often when he is not in mood and I initiate sex he finds it a real turn on and he is magnificent. I really think that it is ok to take the initiative contrary to the way I was brought up when woman only waited around to service his needs. I also have taken the attitude that I will be available for him even when I am not in the mood and he is. Men have awfully fragile ego's and a simple rebuff can have a huge impact. (I learned that the hard way in m y first marriage) I determined to not let that ever happen again. Sex is fun. It is pleasurable and both partners have an obligation to meet the other's needs. You are not always going to be on the same schedule. I suspect that if he is looking at sleazy stuff on the internet though he is subverting his needs when you could be the one enjoying him
I wish you the best -- Hugs Larissa
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If I waited for him to take the initiative, it would never happen. I know his first wife was a doozy and she really turned him off to a lot of things "normal" people enjoy... I suggested we sort of start over. Learn each other's bodies, spend time just kissing and touching, and go from there.
so far, tho, i haven't gotten much from him in the way of interest. one night i told him i needed some skin to skin time... did the fresh sheets, candles, music, gave him a foot massage and back rub.... he promptly fell asleep.
the next night, he was out very late and i fell asleep without him which is a very regular occurance.
the following night, i said let's try the skin to skin time again without one of us falling asleep? he laughed... at least it didn't upset him. so, we did... and we did end up having sex, but once he's ready it's really hard to slow him down, so there wasn't really any exploration or learning time...
Quote:
Originally Posted by shezbut
(((UCTD)))
I don't understand it either.
I wonder if you were to ask men about this, if they would have helpful and understanding advice for you? I think that men and women have a tendency to look at love/sex differently. A man's perspective might give you some insight.
You certainly have my (and many others) sympathy and emotional support! Gentle hugs to you.... |
Every time i've asked a man, he says "he's getting it somewhere, you can bet that". really? thanks so much, dude.
