I have been disabled since birth. I hit the ground running (literally) addicted to 15 mini whites a day habit of my mothers. I waited 9 years before I started seeking out self medicating for my unbearable symptoms that until late in life I discovered were symptoms of a gambit of mental health issues. Now, trying to deal with being 46 yrs old, having been addicted to every drug known to man since I was 9 yrs old, and now stuck in a very ugly dilemma. I have been using a street drug that finally made me normal instead of getting me high for 26 yrs now in lure of the medically prescribed close to equivalent pharmaceutical version that requires medical insurance and an income to buy the medication on a monthly basis...and I have tried the county funded doctors but they refuse to prescribe me anything "addicting" because of my history of drug use and addiction. I can not get them to understand that I went undiagnosed my entire childhood while suffering many debilitating disorders and having them compounded and severely made worse every single day of my life by being mentally, physically and emotionally abused on a constant basis by the environment and the people this kind of dysfunctional family draws. Not to mention all the very horrible choices I was making for myself along the way caused me immense amounts of baggage and shame because I was so desperately trying to find a "fix" to whatever demon possessed alien that had taken over my ability to make sane choices if i even knew what those were.
now that I have finally all on my own figured out that I need hard core medical and therapeutic help to get myself off this ugly illegal substitute I tried to seek help from SSDI and was denied because I was homeless, broke, and unable to get to the doctors that would see me on the state aided insurance because they were so far from where I was camping out under a overpass...and there for they had no medical evidence to prove my condition. What on earth can I do to get help? Now I have reapplied in another state, trying again to get this done, but am only slightly better off than I was the last time because i have a roof now because i'm caring for my 86 yr old grandmother in her home because she is fully in ambulatory and she has no one else to help her. But I still cant get to the appointments to see the doctors on any regular basis because I have no money to get there and they are far too far to walk to...I feel like I'm doomed to degradation and after my gramma dies ill just concede to a shopping cart and talking to myself.....this sucks.