tallwaters

Yes, I have felt that way before. It isn't ever easy or fun. Each time it hits, I could swear that my feelings are accurate ~ as I become absolutely convinced that I don't mean squat to a single person on Earth.

My journals, which have recorded the positive times, counter-act my beliefs and make me confused. I do see a T regularly, who monitors the depth of my depression every couple of months. It varies between moderate/severe - severe. In those very dark times, I've needed to go into the hospital for more intensive treatment. It helps get me through again.

Reach out for help. It's great that you've shared your thoughts and feelings here, but now you should see a professional to talk about it more deeply. (((hugs)))