Skyhawk9,

I, too, have suffered from very long depressions - some lasting 4-5 months and others lasting 2 years or so. I have felt similar pain and even have believed that I was going to hell because of my sins even though I am a firm believer in God and the person and work of Jesus Christ. The only way that I ever came out of these "hell holes" was with the right anti-depressant medication. You didn't mention if you had a psych doc or RX. You have my sympathy and my empathy as I am going through depression now as they try to adjust my Cymbalta so that it doesn't cause mania as I am bipolar.

Whatever you do, be gentle with yourself and I do pray for a spiritual release for you to connect with a higher power and let go of the ego. But don't forget your brain might need to medical help even as your soul needs help.

God will show you the way if you call out to Him. He will show you the truth and the truth will set you free. I hope you get a miracle but it will be wonderful just to be set free incrementally as well as instantly. My prayer is that God blesses you and redeems you from the pit so you can have peace of mind and gratitude again. And that you get WHATEVER HELP you need.