i've been following your thread, sabrina. in AA they tell us we need to hit a bottom to come to our senses about our drinking. some of us had to sink to lower bottoms before we "woke up" and sadly many ppl never realize they are drinking their life away. the consequences of that choice is dreadful.
it sounds like your mom is not ready to get help. i could be wrong but that's my take on it. meanwhile she's keeping you emotionally tethered with her drinking be it a lot of not. i can tell you from what you've written about her drinking career that even if she slows down now she will return to heavy drinking once more. the only way an alcoholic can exist once they are in the throes of active alcoholism is total abstinence. we can't "bargain" with this disease.
there's another thought i have. they say alcoholics in active addiction take people "hostage", not having a healthy relationship with friends or family. sort of like "crying wolf". it seems that's what your mom is doing with you...taking you hostage.
if i were you i'd focus on yourself and attend al-anon or ACOA. you need support and caring. your mom will have to find her own way. if she decides to go to AA she can call the district office for a ride if need be.
i know it's painful to watch your mom but her insanity is rolling over into your life. you don't deserve that. you deserve more.
when alcoholics are active we are self-centered, it's all about us and we don't care who we hurt or cause worry to. i know. i was once that way. (in recovery a long time now).
i don't think it unkind if you draw the line in the sand with your mom. tell her if she wants help to get it and meanwhile you're moving along with your own life (even tho her actions are painful cause you love her). set that boundary. don't be her "audience".
this is just my opinion, sabrina. and it's not selfish of you or less a daughter to have a rich life full of joy. i'll be keeping your mom and you in my prayers. i am so glad you've reached out to us here. you are not isolated. we care. please consider al-anon or ACOA for YOU.