I want to start this post with a big caveat: nothing I say is intended to diminish in any way people who aren't coping well with sz for whatever reason, or who are not in education/employment for whatever reason (sz-related or not). Everybody goes at their own pace and does what is best for them, I know

Anyway. Earlier today -- at work -- I let it slip to another member of staff that I got diagnosed with sz. She is an absolutely lovely lady and has her own history of MH problems (depression, I think -- something in that vein), so I don't fear any reprisals or discrimination or anything. She told me I should be proud of myself, which was nice of her. Buuut I couldn't help but notice her shock that I had ever had sz. Her first response was, "But Fish, you're a barrister . . . . " like that somehow has anything to do with whether or not I get psychotic.

I hate the idea that people with a sz dx can somehow never do "normal people" things, like work or whatever. It's so f*cking prevalent. But then I kind of wonder if there's a reason that idea is so prevalent. You know, I've met so few people who have an sz dx and who work or study. I can probably count them on one foot, to be honest, or maybe both feet if I think really hard. I know there are a few more "famous" schizophrenic people out there, like Elyn Saks or the game theory fellow whose name has just slipped my mind.

So. I feel kind of trapped, like I either have to struggle to function or I have to do f*cking brilliant things like invent game theory and become a professor, or I can't have psychosis. (OK, I would actually *love* to become a prof . . . besides the point though.) IDK. I've been looking more and more for sources of support, but there's nothing out there for people who can function---especially for people who can function without drugs. There's one group for people with psychosis who work in my city (that I found, anyway), but you have to be actively seeing a pdoc and taking a med regime to join it.

Anyway, that's my kind of semi-coherent rant for the week.