Quote:
Originally Posted by fergus
I was doing this mediation where I contemplated why don't I try harder to feel better and these are the thoughts that came out.
Scared of feeling better and then being disappointed that the better wasn't good enough
Scared to shine in case the shine isn't bright enough.
Scared to be gifted if my thoughts are not smart enough
Scared to be happy in case the tears fall in disappointment
Scared to struggle to get better, in case it exposes something worse than the present
Scared to share how I feel, in case they never understand and I become lonely
Scared to be alive if the numbness never ends
Scared to try and die incase it doesn't work
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Hi Fergus,
Thank you for sharing this. Sounds like some good soul searching you're doing, recognizing these key ingredients. Now that you've named them, you can think of ways to change them up a bit and to feel better. What I see when I read it is that your thoughts are all over time and space, what if's, the future, past hurts. You need them here, in this moment, in this moment there is a choice. Your life ready for you to live it. Your shine is already bright, your thoughts already smart. I hope you learn more in your meditations, and share it with us.
