Like water is right, it's just the hand you get dealt. And let's face it, the bipolar hand had some pretty ****** cards in it. Totally get the surreal feeling though, the "you have got to be kidding, this is my life here that bipolar is wrecking"

Please try not to feel like a failure . The fact you feel so tired shows you have tried so hard. When I feel really bummed about things I compare the effort I have put in to the effort others have who don't have bipolar and then I usually feel better just because it shows how much more hardcore I am than them in my brain. If there was a mental strength Olympics we would all kick butt!

Anyway, that's my little day dream when I feel a bit stink about things. I bet the very best non-crazy athletes in the Mental strength Olympics wouldnt stand a chance against the hardcore powers of a person who had the challenges of day to day life + a brain he or she cant trust + potentially being on drugs that still mess your brain up more.

I have digressed. Write your bipolar a letter. That's what I do. It helps separate what's you and what's not, because I bet the real you never wanted to let people down or miss the chances you mentioned. Mine normally start with "dear bipolar, I pretty much hate you right now.... ". Five pages later all my feelings are out and then normally all that's left is little tired old me, minus the guilt and the shame and the anger and the self loathing. That's not me. I'm not a failure I'm a damn marathon runner with a bipolar monkey on my back